Treed
by Chibi Mirai Gogeta
Summary: (Completed) The long-awaited spoof of The Tree of Might. The evil tree has taken root and is draining energy from Earth. Can the tree be destroyed or will Earth be doomed? Merry Christmas!
1. Gardening Gone Horribly Wrong

CMG: For quite some time, I have been musing on how to do this certain parody of a movie gone horribly wrong. Now after years of plotting, I bring to you the version that should probably not have ever existed. (laughs evilly) As usual, I don't own Dragon Ball Z. Now enter my world where everything went wrong. Rated PG-13 for minor violence, cursing of sorts (sorry kiddies; no censored version this time around), and brief nudity.

Treed

Part 1

* * *

Upon a planet, traders were trying to obtain seeds of a great and terrible power. Suddenly, an explosion ripped through the planet as a hand snatched the seeds in the midst of chaos. It was minutes later that the chaos faded when the person auctioning the seeds saw writing etched in the ground that read:

****

"Your seeds are mine and soon, this universe will soon face the wrath of Turles!" Evil laughter was heard out of nowhere as the lightning flashed in the once calm skies. "Muhahaha!"

"Turles!" the man yelled to the heavens themselves while clutching the note in his hand that ended up being a bomb that sent a paralysis gas on all of them.

"Can't… move…" one said.

"Damn… him…" another said.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

On a familiar planet hovering above Snake Way, a certain chubby man watched the scene unfold upon the universe.

"We're screwed," King Kai said bluntly.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

On some indistinct planet where lots of random things happen (like take over, threatening to destroy it, etc), peace seemed to be a thing that the planet itself had not seen for very long. Including with some random invasions, threats, and other things. However at the moment, it seemed relatively peaceful. Or was it…

"Hey! Where are the marshmallows?" Bulma's voice yelled as she looked in her backpack for the relatively vital gooey treat.

"I bet they were taken out," Oolong said.

"Yeah, by you," Bulma growled as she pulled out a rifle and Oolong flipped. "I bet you have them, pig!"

"Hey!" Gohan's cheery voice cried out.

"Gohan!" Bulma cheerfully said, hiding the gun behind her back.

"Bulma, are you threatening to kill people again?" Gohan said.

"Um… no…" Bulma said with a sweat drop running down the back of her head.

"O…kay…" Gohan said before turning his back to her. While his back was turned, Bulma smacked Oolong with the butt of her gun before throwing it in the bushes. "Anyway, I brought a lot of things because mom made me bring all of this stuff for no important reason."

"Are there marshmallows?" Oolong said; half-afraid that he would die in his sleep.

"Yeah," Gohan said as he pulled them out. Bulma quickly snatched them the moment that they entered his hands and started to cuddle the bag.

"Hey bud," Krillin said as he walked up the path with some firewood in his hands.

"Hey Krillin!" Gohan chirped.

"Since everyone's here now, let's go ahead and start having fun!" Krillin said as Gohan smiled. Suddenly, Goku comes running up the path, rather worried about something being totally amiss.

"Hey! Why are you guys here?" Goku said, seemingly stressed about something.

"Dad?" Gohan said.

"Um Goku, we're supposed to be camping, remember?" Krillin said.

"No you aren't! We're supposed to be heading to Namek to wish back our friends!" Goku said.

"Actually, everyone's fine," Bulma said.

"Huh?" Goku confused. "But Tien, Chou-su, Piccolo, and Yamcha were killed!"

"Oh nonsense!" Bulma said. "They're still alive. Speaking of that arrogant man, why isn't he here?"

"Knowing him, he's probably with some other broad," Krillin said. The moment those words left his mouth, he was thrown into a nearby river. "AHHHH! NO! HELP! I CAN'T SWIM AND I'M HEADING TOWARDS A WATERFALL!!"

"Yeah right," Bulma said while behind her, Goku was trying to use a fishing pole to catch his friend heading down a waterfall on top of Nimbus.

"Hang on!" Goku yelled as he casts the line and grabs the poor ex-monk on the back of his fighting gi and pulled him up.

"Whew," Krillin said.

"Anyway, why are you bringing that up?" Gohan said.

"I think your dad might be sick," Bulma said as she pulled out a cell phone. Seconds later, men in white coats appeared as the Earth-raised Saiya-jin looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"NO! NOT THE MEN IN WHITE COATS!" Goku practically screamed as he began running away from them wielding comically large butterfly nets into the woods.

"Come back here!" one of them yelled.

"Well, back to camping," Bulma said.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Later that night, everyone was asleep in camp when an explosion was heard. Moments later, a fire erupted through the forest and started burning down the forest like there was no tomorrow. Inside the tent, Krillin was sleeping peacefully when suddenly, the tent caught on fire and some of the fire hit his blankets. Screaming, he ran out of the tent and saw the others awake.

"Stop, drop, and roll, you fool!" Bulma said as Krillin's clothes seemed to burn.

"Gah!" Krillin cried as he did that.

"Um… maybe we should put out the fire, knowing that if we die, then no one would know what happened to us," Gohan replied.

"We're the strongest warriors in the world," Krillin started before Bulma cleared her throat as though trying to make him remember one valuable detail. "Fine. Come on, brat."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

About 45 minutes later, the woods were reduced to ashes and miraculously, all of the animals 'managed' to survive. However, they had no home to return to as Gohan and Krillin were panting from the strain of putting out the fire. Nearly all of the animals were looking at the warriors as though blaming them for something they did.

"We didn't leave the fire burning!" Bulma yelled at the animals.

"Maybe we should gather the Dragon Balls and tell Shenron to revive the forest," Krillin said.

"Aw, but I had plans with those!" Bulma whined.

"Wait until next year," Gohan said as Bulma began to cry.

"My chances for having a boyfriend are slim to none…" Bulma wept.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

After a lengthy musical that some certain company decided to cut from their film (and only seeing it once, I never got the chance to take notes on it T-T), Shenron was summoned as he hovered over the darkened field menacingly. All of the animals would have preferred to be homeless probably about that time rather than face a dragon who 'might' eat them if provoked.

"Okay," Shenron boomed. **"Make your damn wish already."**

Shenron boomed. 

"Did Shenron just curse?" Gohan asked.

"Yeah," Krillin said. "He might be pissed off."

"Oh," Gohan said.

"When did we use the Dragon Balls last?" Krillin said.

"About two months ago and oh…" Bulma started before drifting off. "Now I see why he's pissed."

**"I'm waiting…"** Shenron growled.

**"RESTORE THE FOREST!"**Gohan yelled at the dragon.

**"Piff, child's play," **Shenron boomed as his eyes glowed and in seconds, the ashes vanished and the forest reappeared.** "Just so you know, you have wasted a valuable wish and the next time you summon me, you will be grateful of what you have at this moment."**

"What do you…" Bulma started before the Shenron disappeared and Dragon Balls flew off. "Damn that lizard!"

"Oh well, at least we did one good thing for the Earth," Krillin said.

"Hey, a dragon," Gohan said as he saw the familiar purple dragon. "I'm going to take it home with me and call him Hiya Dragon."

"Don't you mean Icarus?" Krillin said, reading Funi's script.

"No, Hiya Dragon!" Gohan rebutted.

"Icarus," Krillin countered.

"Hiya Dragon," Gohan growled.

"Icarus," Krillin growled.

This went on for some time, but finally, Gohan gave in and named 'Hiya Dragon' the stupid name 'Icarus'. After that battle to end all battles, the earth was at peace, or was it?

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Sire, the pod has detected life on the planet known as Earth," one of henchmen said.

"Very good," a familiar voice said as the 'camera' panned in front of the Goku-clone's face. "Then let us prepare phase 2."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

In the wee hours of the morning, Gohan and Icarus were playing a certain game together as they flew door to door leaving certain gifts at the doorsteps and ringing the door bell. They hid in the bushes and waited for someone to answer the door and step in the mess.

"This is great!" Gohan snickered. "I'm definitely going to enjoy doing this every day!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Later on, Gohan and Icarus parted ways, but Icarus followed Gohan home. When Gohan got home, he walked into the house and then, Icarus tried to follow when Chi-chi screamed bloody murder.

"Gohan, get this disgusting animal out of my house!" Chi-chi yelled, holding a broom up like a weapon.

"But mom," Gohan whined, "I always wanted a pet dragon!"

"No buts!" Chi-chi hissed. "Take this monster back to the forest where he lives or no fighting!"

"Okay," Gohan said defeated. As he walked outside with Icarus in tow, Gohan heard a 'psst' sound and looked over and saw his father in the bushes.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"…and that's what happened between me and the men in the white coats," Goku finished. "When the forest caught on fire, they kind of died, but I don't really care since they were kind of annoying as hell."

"Uh… right…" Gohan said.

"Anyway, your dragon can live in this cave that I managed to make out of boredom and it's nicely furnished and everything," Goku said. "Besides, I don't see the problem keeping a rather exotic animal as a pet as long as you feed and take care of it, but don't tell your mom about it, okay?"

"I won't!" Gohan said as he hugged his father.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

On the edge of a cliff, Turles stood there with his group of henchmen as he laughed evilly while holding the seeds that would lead to the downfall of Earth if used.

"Turles, are you going to plant the damn seeds already?" one of the henchmen said. "You've been standing there laughing evilly for five minutes now."

"…" Turles stopped laughing. "You ruined the moment just now."

"Sorry," the same one said.

"Anyway, we need some fertilizer before we plant these seeds so it can grow a bit faster," Turles replied.

"Makes sense," a second one said.

"Perhaps we should go look for some?" a third one said.

"Do that," Turles said as he threw his cape back for dramatic effect. "In the meantime, I shall continue my evil laugher." And he does so until the other bad guys sweat drop. "Fine. I'll stop."

"Thank you!" all of them said at once.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

About 20 minutes later, the minions had managed to 'retrieve' a bag of fertilizer from a nearby gardening shop (-cough- K-Mart -cough-).

"So this stuff's called Miracle Grow, huh?" Turles read the package. "Well, let's see if it does a very good miracle growing the supposed Tree of Might!"

Turles dumps the dirt onto the ground and then pokes his finger into the mound of dirt before depositing the seeds into the dirt. Standing back, he waited. And waited. And waited. Finally…

"Dammit tree! Grow already!" Turles yelled at the buried seedlings; his tail bristling.

"Um… sire…" one of the minions said. "Maybe it might need water." With that, the evil warlord face vaulted.

"Fine," Turles seethed, rather bitter and angry that his 'beloved' soon-to-be-tree wasn't growing just yet due to the fact that it probably 'needed' water.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Another 20 minutes later (and another visit to K-Mart), the minions had brought back a gallon of water in a tank. Turles, snatching the giant jug dumped it onto the ground and then stepped back.

"Did you overdo the watering?" one of the minions said.

"Shut-up or you'll be killed," Turles snapped at the minion as they waited. And waited. And waited. Until finally…

"Damn you seedlings!" Turles roared in pure adulterated anger. "You've failed me! The future Lord of the Universe after I throw Freeza and his pre-successors over!"

"Um… sire? Are you discouraging them to grow?" another minion said.

"Quiet or I'll make sure that your remains aren't found," Turles growled.

"How will you do that?" a third minion said rather shyly.

"I have my ways," Turles smirked evilly; turning his attention back to the pile of dirt before him and blushing slightly as it was clearly seen across his dark cheeks and the bridge of his nose. "If any of you mention that I was nice, you will severely be tortured at my leisure before I kill you." The minions nodded nervously as Turles cleared his throat and knelt down to the pile of dirt. "Grow. Grow proud and strong little seedlings and make me some yummy fruit to eat."

Suddenly, the earth shuttered and Turles was sent flying backwards as a giant trunk plunged from the ground. Rubbing his nose to make sure it wasn't bleeding, he saw the tree starting to grow up to the heavens themselves.

"It's alive! Alive!" Turles cried in absolute joy.

"Yay," the other minions said flatly, holding a little, crudely drawn banner up that read: **HuRRaY FoR tHe TREe Of MiGhT! :D**

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Oh no," King Kai paled. "The Tree of Might has taken root. I have to warn the others."

* * *

CMG: And thus ends the first chapter of the story. Let me just say that I had trouble getting into the comical part of the story at the beginning because it was a lot of hard work and stuff. Anyway, I hope to hear some rather positive feedback (if doesn't go down anytime soon) and will have the next chapter out by sometime next week. Until then, lata! 


	2. Legend and Destruction of the Fourth Wal...

CMG: I enjoyed the feedback. Now it's time for the second chapter of…

Treed

Chapter 2

* * *

On his way to Capsule Corporation, Yamcha was driving his nice and new shiny car as Puar sat next to his long-time friend.

"Bulma's gonna be wondering what you did with her money," Puar said nervously.

"Relax, kitten," Yamcha said. "She's going to love this car so much that it will be a smash hit!" Of course, the only way the words 'smash hit' would work is if it smashed into something rather big, so… "What the-"

-KA-BOOM!-

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Later on at Goku's house, everyone strangely gathered there while Yamcha was begging for forgiveness to Bulma for using her money and for destroying the car. She was pretty much fuming and nodding her head in a rather pissed off mood.

"You'll do my chores for 3 months to pay off the car and money you borrowed," Bulma said.

"Aw man!" Yamcha said.

"Anyway, you said you hit this giant tree?" Goku said, rather interested in the tale.

"Yeah," Yamcha said as he went about describing it. "It was like it appeared out of nowhere!"

"Hm, that's strange," Goku said.

"Maybe you weren't paying attention," Bulma hinted.

"I was paying attention, you slave-hoarder!" Yamcha yelled at Bulma.

"Hey! No fighting at the table!" Chi-chi scolded the couple.

"Sorry," Bulma and Yamcha both apologized at the same time.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Did you contact Goku yet?" Gregory chirped next to King Kai.

"No," King Kai said. "Something's blocking my signal…"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Out in space, an astronaut was busy fixing a satellite that took damage from a certain ship that flew into orbit hours ago.

'Whatever space junk we've been getting, I hope it's none of the extra-terrestrial kind again,' the astronaut thought as he fiddled away at the satellite until it started to work again. "Okay Chuck. It's back on-line."

"I read you, Berry," Chuck said. "Wonder what caused it to go out in the first place?"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"About damn time things are working again!" King Kai growled as the signal from Earth grew stronger. _'Goku! Can you hear me, you idiotic apprentice?'_

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Huh?" Goku looked up. "I'm not an idiotic apprentice! Whatever that means…"

_'__Sorry,'_ King Kai replied._ 'Been watching too much Rurouni Kenshin lately.'_

"Whatever. Now why are you contacting me right now, King Kai?" Goku said; the others growing curious when they heard Goku mention the Lord of Worlds' name.

_'Well, it's like this,'_ King Kai started_. 'A long time ago, there was this tree called the Tree of Might. Originally, it was a food that the Gods ate for strength. However, it somehow felled from heaven by an evil half-god and well, let's say it got into evil hands and yeah.'_

"And why are you telling us this?" Goku questioned.

_'The Tree of Might's seedlings were recently taken off of the Planet Sameni in the Eastern Quadrant,' _King Kai explained_. 'If planted upon a living planet, the Tree of Might draws the energy from the planet itself in order to make the fruit on the tree ripen. If it is left to grow, then all that will be left of the planet will be a barren wasteland.'_

"So you're saying an evil half-god took these seedlings to the mortal realm and now some alien's got it?" Goku summed up rather quickly. "GREAT! Now we got a 'Tree of Godly Might' to take care of!"

_'That is the Tree of Might, Goku, not the 'Tree of Godly Might','_ King Kai said. _'And the leader of the gang is a Saiya-jin just like-'_

"A Saiya-jin?" Goku interrupted in a rather surprised voice. "You mean like Radditz?"

_'Yes,'_ King Kai answered._ 'For a second there, I almost said the Saiya-jin was like someone else.'_

"King Kai," Tien asked the Lord of Worlds, "we can hear what you're thinking and who were you going to mention besides Radditz?"

_'Um… I think my house is on fire,'_ King Kai panicked and the warriors heard a dead phone tone and face vaulted.

"Well, I guess we should go stop this menace from destroying Earth," Goku said in a confident and heroic voice. "Who's with me?"

"We are!" nearly all of the warriors said, but when Gohan put his hand on the group's Chi-chi yanked Gohan's hand away.

"But mom! I want to go fight with the others and save Earth!" Gohan whined.

"Well you disobeyed me when I found that dragon of your eating at my flowerbed, so go do your damn studies right now, young man," Chi-chi scolded.

"Yes mom," Gohan sighed. As his hand touched the door, Goku appeared behind his son and smiled.

"I left your fighting gi outside in the shed," Goku smiled. "Go change while I take care of things downstairs and call Icarus to come kidnap you."

"Yay!" Gohan cheered.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

A little later, the warriors (minus Gohan and Piccolo) gathered at the base of the giant tree known as the Tree of Might. They stood at the base of the giant tree that towered towards the heavens themselves as it seemed spooky-like. They were standing there like they were overshadowed by the thought of the world's destruction and stuff.

"Dammit!" Krillin said. "All the work we went through gathering the Dragon Balls and restoring the forest was a waste."

"Question is, how did Shenron know about the forest getting destroyed?" Gohan asked.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Meanwhile, in a dark realm, a familiar ethereal figure sneezed.

"Bless you, Shenron," a male voice spoke.

**"I SENSE THAT SOMEONE HAS SPOKEN ILL ABOUT ME,"** Shenron boomed.

"You must be imaging things," the voice spoke again.

**"I DON'T JOKE BARDOCK, NOW MAKE YOUR DAMN MOVE ALREADY!"** Shenron growled at the man as they were playing chess on a rather giant board that knew no limits.

"Fine," Bardock said as he smirked evilly at the giant lizard.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Back on Earth, the warrior suddenly get close lined by a root. Gathering themselves up, they fly upon a cliff and reach behind their backs for something.

"Everyone power up!" Goku commanded as they grabbed the power tools and chainsaws and revved them up. They charged at the tree like Vikings planning to plunder a village and started to work at the tree, but it failed.

"Dammit!" Krillin cursed.

"Plan B!" Goku yelled to his allies.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

About 15 minutes later, the warriors were standing there panting hard after another ill-fated attempt to destroy the Tree of Might…

"Damn weed-killer," Krillin cursed. "It didn't work!"

"Don't be too sure," Yamcha noted as he pointed down to Chou-su as he laid sprawled out in front of the warriors.

"OMG! THEY KILLED CHOU-SU!" Yamcha cried.

"YOU BASTARD!" Krillin yelled at the can of weed killer.

"Um… maybe he's just unconscious," Tien said.

"No!" Goku said. "Maybe it's a sign that there's no way to destroy it unless…"

"Unless what?" Krillin said as Chou-su started to come to.

"Unless we pool our power together and try to blast the tree down," Goku finished.

"Why didn't we do that in the first place?!" Krillin yelled at the leader of the Z-Squad as he grabbed him by the neck of his shirt. Chou-su, who just woke up, was wondering what in the world was going on.

"I didn't think about it until a minute ago, that's why," Goku said rather nervously as the other fighters face vaulted, including Chou-su.

"Fine, all in favor of blasting at the Tree of Might say aye," Tien growled.

"Aye," everyone else said.

"All oppose?" Tien said. "Fine. But after we finish off this damn tree, then I'm becoming the new leader of the party."

"Why do you want to become the leader?" Goku asked.

"Because all women love a three eyed warrior to kick alien ass," Tien smirked.

"You're only human though and eventually, your character will be overshadowed by a lot of more important characters that will lead to the end of this series as well as within the movies," Goku explained. "Thus, you will probably never be the leader and become some background character with little or no importance in your role. Most likely, Gohan will be leader after I either die or something else happens to me, so there."

"Damn you," Tien cursed as he was about to kill Goku for his logic. However, Yamcha and Chou-su stopped him.

"How do you know that everything will come to pass though?" Krillin said.

"Um… I have no idea what I just said," Goku admitted. Once again, the warriors face vaulted.

"Let's just blast the damn tree already!" Tien growled and the warriors flew back and prepared their signature attacks. One by one, they flew at the giant tree as explosions and smoke obscured their vision. Chou-su cried in pure horror when the tree was unscathed.

"We can't fire at the roots without taking the Earth with it," Goku hissed and walked up to the tree. With a powerful kick, the tree tilted over sideways. "Well, that was easy…" Suddenly, the tree catapulted Goku into Chou-su as he goes flying off a cliff.

"OMG! THEY KILLED CHOU-SU!" Yamcha cried.

"YOU BASTARD!" Krillin said, hissing at the Tree of Might.

"I'm still alive," Chou-su said fromdown thecliff side.

"Well, let's go get revenge for our fallen comrade," Goku said.

"I said I'm not dead, dammit!" Chou-su cried again, but the warriors ignored him.

Goku floated up towards the nook of the tree first as the rest of the warriors, including Chou-su flew up behind him.

"Hey! I thought you were dead!" Tien said.

"I'm not, thank you very much," Chou-su yelled at them.

"Don't be such a bitch," Yamcha said.

"Um… what are you guys doing here?" one of Turles' henchmen said.

"To stop you from making this damn tree destroy our fucking planet," Goku said.

"Well, you're fucked anyway because this tree's already taken root and stuff," a second henchmen said.

"God dammit!" Goku cursed.

"You're lucky to try to defeat us, but Turles will own all of your asses and let us have a share of the fruit," the first one said.

"Actually, I had a change of heart," Turles said from above and smirked.

"What?!" all of the henchmen yelled towards him.

"I said I'll take the fruit since your usefulness has expired," Turles said and did the two-fingered "Boy Scout Sign of Doom". Instantly, all, except the Z-Fighters were instantly killed.

"Dammit!" Goku yelled. "Why in the hell did you do that for?"

"Actually, they were in the way for universal domination," Turles said. "Besides, I have you to thank Kakarot for not devoiding life on this planet."

"My name's Son Goku, you asshole!" Goku yelled at the evil clone of himself.

"Hmph," Turles said. "It seems one of my brethren chooses not to follow the path of universal domination. Oh well. I have the boy to help."

"Boy to…" Goku started before he saw him pick up the bound Gohan. "Let go of my son, you bastard!"

"You're about to witness the true power of the Saiya-jin," Turles said. "The power that you chose not to take because you cut off the source of it!"

"You mean my tail?!" Goku hissed as he suddenly had a flashback of some sort that didn't really happen in the movie, but hell! I'll put in in here as a huge pointer!

**::Flashback…::**

****

"…and so you see," King Kai summed up to Goku while he was 'dead' in the Other World, "you're not human. You're a Saiya-jin from some destroyed planet said to be destroyed by a meteor, but really, some gender-confused freak destroyed it."

"So, what does that mean?" Goku said, confused about what the whole lecture was about.

"That you're the reason that in the future, some aliens and other beings will try to conquer Earth because you didn't destroy it like you should have!" King Kai yelled at the Earth-raised Saiya-jin as he falls over backwards like a limp plant.

"Why would I want to destroy Earth anyway?" Goku questioned.

"You were supposed to!" King Kai yelled, grabbing his Mallet of Pain as Goku's eyes widened. Goku barely got on his feet and started running when King Kai started to swing his mallet at the poor confused fighter. "Come back here, you dirty ape! I'll make you remember!"

**::End Flashback::**

Goku shuttered at the mental images. He managed to escape King Kai's 'faking' the whole idea that he 'remembered' his mission. He ended up lying about it and forgot about the incident until Turles brought it up.

"Dammit!" Goku cursed. "Now I remember everything that King Kai told me."

_'I wish you didn't,'_ King Kai responded.

"Don't make me come up there and smack you like you did to me!" Goku challenged the Lord of Worlds.

_'I'd like to see you try!'_ King Kai countered as Goku growled up at the sky with the other warriors looking at Goku like he's gone completely mental. Before the warrior could bring his fingers to his brow in order to give the Lord of Worlds a beating he'd never forget, Turles cleared his throat.

"I'm so sorry to interrupt your 'conversation', but I believe I have the upper hand," Turles spoke, holding the squirming Gohan.

"Dammit!" Goku cursed. "I'll get revenge later!"

_'And I'll be waiting with a Spirit Bomb with your name on it,'_ King Kai said to threaten the Earth-raised Saiya-jin.

"Anyway, while you're busy playing with your 'son', I'll be bashing your friends up, Kakarot," Turles said with an evil smirk on his face as he holds a familiar ball of light in his right hand. The light streamed from his fingers as he threw the ball into the air. "MIX AND COMBINE! LET THE MOON'S LIGHT SHINE!"

A huge supernova-like sphere of light blinded all of the warriors on the field as an artificial satellite that represented the moon was in the sky. Turles lifted the squirming young boy up and forced the young hybrid's eyes open; making sure he of course didn't see the moon's face. Gohan, trying to resist, found that he couldn't as the warriors stood there dumb shocked. It wasn't until the boy started to grow that Turles let him go and blasted at the artificial moon. The moment he did just that, Gohan suddenly shrunk back into his humanoid form naked and unconscious as Goku quickly grabs him before Turles decides to try it again.

"Dammit!" Turles cursed; knowing that he was almost out of ideas until the Tree of Might was ready to bear fruit. "Guess I'll go with Plan B. I call forth the Destruction of the Fourth Wall!"

"No!" Goku yelled before everything vanished in a blinding white light.

* * *

CMG: Heh. Cliffhanger. I love pulling that every now and then. Don't worry though. The story will continue in the next chapter. Now onto reviews:

Kinoha: Truthfully, what happened is whoever dubbed it wrong has dubbed it so that they already had the Dragon Balls. And since I've only seen it once, I feel kind of bad mentioning it. Oh well! I don't know what gotten into me when I got down to the threatening part, but he carried it through this time. (evil smirk)

Xero Reflux: Thanks. I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

Sawnya: Thanks. I was trying not to make him too OOC and still acting evil at the same time. I hope it worked and I won't give up on this one since I'm going to finish this and everything else I started out with. The rest of my fics are left the way they are until I get a fresh idea or two. Besides, I get influenced through shows, movies, games, and dreams.

CMG: So until next week, lata!


	3. Nature's Fury and Genki Damas

CMG: Whew! This is late. Sorry about that, but lots of things suddenly came up. Anyway, time to get rid of a rather bad cliffhanger with this final chapter of…

****

Treed

Chapter 3

CMG: And so you know, I don't own anything I put into this story. Not Sailor Moon, not Rurouni Kenshin, not even a certain game that I have been playing too much lately. So go!

Before the warriors could do anything, they found themselves shoved away by an invisible force that knocked them back with yet another blinding light. When it cleared, a young-looking girl appeared as she looked around confused. She was wearing a gray shirt, black pants, and some black sandal-like shoes. Her brown hair was cut short and she wore glasses that framed her blue-green eyes.

"Where am I?" the girl said as she looked around; tail swaying.

"Turles! No fair! You can't summon the authoress in the story!" Goku said.

"I just did," Turles said with confidence as he looks evilly down upon the others.

"Ho-hum…" the authoress known as Chibi Mirai Gogeta (CMG) said as she pulled out a pencil and pad of paper and started taking down notes. "Let's see… Destruction of the Fourth Wall leads to many problems." Putting the document away, she smiled evilly and reached for a confidential folder with some sort of legal document inside. "So technically, you have literally brought me here to aide the warriors instead of helping you. Read the contract mister."

"What?!" Turles said as he scanned through the contract. "Let me have that for a moment."

"I don't even trust you with a gun," CMG said as her tail lashed threateningly. That was when the verbal argument between them broke out.

"But I-"

"Nope."

"Can I-"

"Nada."

"For only a mom-"

"Heck no."

"Dammit! Let me-"

"For the fate of the world, hell no," CMG interrupted for the final time. "Now that the whole thing's final, I'm stuck here until I can fix this mess."

"Fine, Plan C," Turles smirked before he snatched the contract from CMG's hands and started scribbling on it. Suddenly, CMG lashed out at the warriors.

"Dammit!" CMG growled as she started beating up the fighters, save Goku and the unconscious (and still very nude) Gohan.

"Now that most of them are unconscious," Turles said as he erased the scribbling. CMG stopped in mid-air.

"What just happened?" Goku said.

"Goku, be a good Saiya-jin and get the contract from Turles before he makes me do the Macarena!" CMG yelled.

"Hm… as a matter of fact…" Turles evilly smirked as Goku quickly grabbed the contract from Turles' hands using God-like speed. "Aw…"

"Now to add a censor bar to our little nudie," CMG said as a censor bar appeared on Gohan's waist.

"What does it do?" Goku said.

"Just right-click on it and a little message box should appear," CMG said.

"Right…" Goku said as his middle finger tapped the censor bar. A little message box appeared:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Censor Bar

Only for people who are naked for whatever reason. Use with caution.

Weight: 1 ton

Required Level: N/A

Available Job: Saiya-jins, Humans, Nameks, etc.

Warning: Item will disappear from owner's inventory when one wears clothing.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Goku had a rather strange look on his face after reading the message box. "How do you make it disappear?"

"Like this," CMG said as she points her finger at the X and it disappears.

"Right… that was the weirdest thing I've ever seen," Goku said (15 brownie points for whoever guesses where I pulled off that little spoof I just made up).

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

While CMG and Goku were talking, Turles snuck into the tree's knothole and walked until he reached the elevator waiting inside. Taking it to the top, he found the fruit almost ready to eat.

'Excellent,' Turles thought evilly. 'Just a bit longer and then the forbidden fruit will be ready for the picking.'

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

CMG suddenly felt a chill run down her spine as her arms crossed her chest.

"What's wrong?" Goku asked.

"I sense some evil one plotting some uncertain evil," CMG warned.

"Turles," Goku said.

"Well, wanna go take the stairs?" CMG noted as she pointed at them.

"Sure, why not," Goku said as they ran up the steps.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Hm…" Turles said, looking at the fruit stand with all of the fruit from the Tree of Might on it. "Which one should I eat first? Ah heck!"

"Freeze!" CMG yelled dramatically. "Step away from the fruit stand and place the fruit on the ground."

"Is that really necessary?" Goku asked CMG.

"Hey! If he eats it…" CMG started when they both heard a 'chomp' sound echo in the tree's hollow base. Before neither could move, Turles' muscles bulged and flexed as he flew and slammed both of them through the wall of the Tree of Might. Emerging from the rubble on the other side, CMG goes spiraling towards the ground while Goku fell dramatically to the ground after the authoress not far from the Tree of Might.

"Bwhahahaha!" Turles laughed. "Good news! You all fail!" To add salt to the wound, he began throwing papers down with giant 'F's' on each of them. Before one could touch the ground, rocks shot at all of them, incinerating the papers upon contact. "Hey! Rock doesn't beat paper!"

"It does now!" CMG moaned from afar with birds around her head as she passed out. "Whoo!"

Goku got up breathing hard, but still willing to put up a good fight. He was crunched down like he had a stomach ache of some sort though.

"Well, are you going to put up a good show or do I have to knock you out?" Turles said.

"Shut-up," Goku hissed before he concentrated; his voice echoing, "Kaiou-_Ken…_"

__

'You're saying it wrong!' King Kai moaned. Goku completely ignored King Kai this time around and continued.

"_…jukkai!_" Goku yelled as the red aura surrounded his body.

Like a bullet, he shot into the air towards Turles, but he managed to avoid Goku's Kaio-ken times 10 with ease. It was as though the evil clone of Goku was able to read the Earth-raised Saiya-jin's very moves with the greatest of ease. Eventually, Goku is thrown down hard on a tree branch with a heavy hammer blow to his back. Trying to rise, he's pushed down by a rather large foot as Turles stood over him like he had hunted and killed a deer. However, Goku was still alive.

"Beg for mercy and I MIGHT let you live," Turles said with his fingers crossed.

"Uh-huh, and then backstab me? I think not," Goku said. That was the boldest statement he could make before Turles pulled on one of the Tree of Might's branches, quickly twiddled it into a baseball bat and started whacking Goku in the back with it. After about 15 blows, the bat breaks, so Turles sets it on fire, throws it towards Earth, and then goes up the Tree of Might to start his gloating.

"You thought that you could stand a chance against me after I ate a fruit from the Tree of Might?" Turles scoffed at Goku from up in the tree. "You should be sadly mistaken. For that, I will not only spread your remains on a garbage heap, but I shall also bury those ashes under the smelliest thing on the planet before I destroy it from space!"

An another explosion is heard as Turles saw a golden light flickering from the ground. Where Son Goku was once laying there beaten down stood Son Goku. However, he was now…

"Dammit!" Turles said. "You're not supposed to go Super Saiya-jin!"

"Well, you did kind of broke my pride," Goku yelled back at Turles.

"Still, it's not logical and your power level was only 280,000 at the most; making it next to impossible for you to transform into a Super Saiya-jin," Turles said. "At the most, you would still need to gain another 720,000, give or take a few ten thousand, to become a Super Saiya-jin. So pretty much, you are creating what is called a 'plot hole' in this universe."

"And you're not?" Goku roared.

"No," Turles said before throwing a kitchen sink down at Goku and making him lose the transformation. "There. Problem solved."

"Dammit!" Goku cursed as he laid on the ground again; formulating yet another plan.

"Anyway, let's get down to business, shall we?" Turles said as he turned towards the warriors that seemly appeared behind him while he was dealing with Goku. However, they have changed their wardrobe and everyone, including Piccolo, was wearing a mafia suit of some sort. Piccolo's turban was half-merged with the rim of a normal business hat and he wore a black cape on his shoulders. (Yeah, it was destroyed off of him earlier, but I like to add more than what's necessary. :D)

"He's sexy alright…" Piccolo mumbled; causing all of the other warriors to give him weird glares. "What?"

"Piccolo, are you gay?" Krillin said.

"No, baldy, I'm quite gay," Piccolo said in Freeza's voice.

"Gah!" Krillin choked as Piccolo began chasing Krillin.

"Aw, don't run away," 'Piccolo' said. "I won't hurt you… much!"

"This is messed up!" Tien said.

"Wasn't Freeza supposed to be alive?" Chou-su said.

"I have no idea," Tien said. "At least it isn't King Cold."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Elsewhere on some distant planet, a familiar evil and quite gay overlord of the universe sneezed.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Back on the ground, Goku got back up and was breathing hard. He had managed to destroy the kitchen sink with a very complicated technique that could not be shown due to the violence of the act. Okay. He threw it at the Tree of Might and it broke apart. Happy?

'Note to self: kitchen sinks are evil,' Goku thought. 'Hm. I guess I should summon a Genki Dama.'

__

'It's a Spirit Bomb, you idiot!' King Kai wailed.

"Look, I'll call it whatever the hell I want, now leave me the hell alone!" Goku yelled.

__

'Whatever,' King Kai said before Goku shot a random blast into the sky. A minute later, Gregory fell from the sky rather charred, but still alive.

"Ow…" Gregory moaned.

"Consider that a warning shot," Goku hissed.

__

'You're wasting time!' King Kai said. Goku ignored the bothersome cricket man and started to concentrate upon the task before him.

"The earth, the trees, and everything else on this stupid planet," Goku started talking as evil storm clouds started to gather, "I call upon you to give me your power so I can kill this tree-hugging hippie because this 'tree' is draining all the energy that I was hoping to use to kill him, but nooo! He had to-"

A bolt of lightning hits Goku and knocks him down. From the heavens, a voice spoke down to the Earth-raised, but now slightly insane Saiya-jin.

__

"You're not getting a damn scrap of energy, you hypocrite!" the voice said.

"Who are you?" Goku said.

__

"I am Mother Nature and you better apologize or your ass is grass," Mother Nature said.

"I'm not apologizing to you!" Goku growled before another bolt of lightning hit him. "Hey! If you are striking me with lightning, then that means you have energy to give me, don't you?"

__

"…" Mother Nature remained quiet.

"How in the bloody hell am I supposed to save this damned planet I was supposed to destroy as an infant if you aren't giving me any damn chi to power up my damn Genki Dama…" Goku started, energy flowing through his very being as it seemed like sparks were flying off of him.

__

'Spirit Bomb," King Kai corrected, but Goku wasn't listening to the annoying Kai.

"…and you don't give me anything but a lot of damn trouble about it," Goku continued. "If I haven't of bumped my damn head on the damn cliffs, then I wouldn't give a damn about destroying this damned world that remains damned by a lot of damned being hell bent on damning the world to extinction as well as damning the whole universe along with it." At this point, Goku was breathing hard as everyone seemed rather shocked.

"I'll never underestimate the word 'damn' ever again," Piccolo said as he hung limply in Turles' hands like a piece of luggage.

__

"If you are done 'damning' everything, please stop that asshole or I'll give you the lightning that will defy all lighting bolts," Mother Nature said in a rather nasty voice. _"And I will too."_ With that, Goku promptly fell over.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Earth's pretty much doomed," King Kai said while surveying the quadrant he was overlooking. "Oh well! Shit happens!" No sooner did the words leave his mouth, a staff smacked King Kai in the back of the head; hurling him towards the house. When he turned to see his assailant, he gasped in pure shock at the sight before him. Deep brown hair hardly hanging over his dark chocolate brown eyes that had anger flashing in them. He wore golden armor that was meant for a God. Wait a tick… "Who in the hell are you?"

"I am Scrix and I'm searching for the one known as Chibi Mirai Gogeta," the being said. "Is she on that planet you're looking down upon?"

"Um… no?" King Kai lied, but Scrix grabbed King Kai by the front of his shirt.

"Liar!" Scrix hissed as his brown tail snapped behind him. "If that world's destroyed, then so is the other alternate worlds due to the imbalance of the said Fourth Wall. If that happens, then you will die."

"Gah!" King Kai screamed. "She's there! Just unconscious!" Scrix smirked a smirk that would rival Vegeta's as a low evil chuckle rose from the mysterious being.

"Thank you," Scrix said and threw King Kai into a nearby closet before locking it. With a flash of light, he vanished.

"Hey! Let me out!" King Kai yelled as the door rattled from the banging and knob jingling. "Bubbles! Come release your master from his confinements!"

The monkey known as Bubbles looked at the door for a moment and hesitated. So instead, he ran to King Kai's car, started the engine, and made the car fly down Snake Way. On the horizon, an explosion was seen as Bubbles' cry was heard along with a flying body of a monkey.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

CMG's eyes opened as she saw Scrix standing over her like a hawk. Groaning in pain, she looked around and saw Goku still laying on the ground charred from his last efforts from defeating Turles. Knowing Mother Nature was to blame, she shook her head and slightly chuckled.

"This isn't funny," Scrix scolded the authoress.

"Well, neither is getting my ass kicked," CMG countered. "Seriously! You took your sweet time, you insane God!"

"I had to deal with King Yemma beseeching me for visiting this damn forsaken…" Scrix started before Mother Nature stuck Scrix with a bolt of lightning.

__

"Stop damming my planet!" Mother Nature yelled at them.

"Sorry!" Scrix squeaked before regaining his composure. "Anyway, if Kakarot fails to finish Turles off, then all of the alternate worlds will suffer as well."

"How can they suffer?" CMG said.

"Let me show you," Scrix answered and pulled a crystal ball out of the cape that trailed behind him. "Watch and you shall see the answer to your questions."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"I am Sailor Moon, Champion of Ju-ahhh!" the blonde haired pony tailed and meatball-haired girl started before a root grew out of the ground. "Where is that coming from?"

"I'm picking up a strange interference from another dimension," the warrior of Mercury said to Sailor Moon.

"But why is it here?" Jupiter asked.

"I sense someone has damaged the Fourth Wall to a point where it's affecting our world as well as the other worlds," Pluto said. "If this isn't resolved at the source, then they will all be destroyed."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Hiten Mitsurigi Style!" Kenshin chanted as he ran towards Shishio with his sword extended. It was at that moment that a root grew in front of the warrior as he crashed into it; causing him to fly backwards with swirls in his eyes. "Oro!"

"Ouch!" Aoshi said.

"That's gotta hurt!" Sano said.

"What kind of plant is this?" Shishio said as he touched it. No sooner than he did, he felt himself feeling a bit queasy. "This is…" No one could stop the impossible from happening as Shishio fainted.

"Okay…" Kenshin said. "That was the weirdest thing to happen that caused Shishio's downfall."

"Lord Shishio!" Yumi cried for her beloved.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"I see," CMG said as she looked in the crystal ball that Scrix produced. "Well, time to go tell Goku how to…" CMG noticed Goku's hand go up in the air. "Or not…"

"Anyway, come with me, brat," Scrix growled and started to drag CMG away.

"Aw! Can't we stay?!" CMG moaned.

"No!" Scrix growled as CMG had tears running down her face.

"You're mean!" CMG bawled.

"It's better than destroying the Fourth Wall any further!" Scrix countered.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

**__**

Moments earlier…

'Dammit!' Goku cursed mentally. 'Bad enough saying damn too much, but having Mother Nature hit you with a lightning bolt that's powerful enough to destroy a city is too much to take. How am I supposed to destroy this damn tree? Hm…'

Without realizing it, Goku tried to see if his friends were alright, but felt their energy levels were too low and unable to fight. As he looked around in this state, he felt a nagging power, but ignored it as he searched for any chi left on Earth. Yet, the nagging continued as he became completely unaware of the conversation between CMG and Scrix not far from him and turned his mind to it. It was in that instant that a warm light flooded through him like the sun would on a cold winter's day. Briefly opening his eyes, he saw that it was the sun peeking through the clouds. Goku let out a moan.

'Who am I kidding?' Goku thought. 'It's ov… Huh? What's that? Is that…'

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

__

We now take you back to our regularly scheduled fic already in progress…

Turles was sitting on a makeshift throne made out of random scrap pieces of metal with a rather crude crown on top of his head that he 'borrowed' from a certain Miss America. Forgetting everything that had transpired outside minutes earlier, he sat there waving around a television antenna as his scepter.

'After this planet's destroyed, I shall be the ruler of all!' Turles grinned.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Goku walked into the tree and noticed an elevator as he braced the wall for support and pushed the button. Moments later, a ring was heard and the doors slid open as the Earth-raised Saiya-jin walked in and pressed the button that would take him straight to Turles. Somehow, by some mysterious way, the elevator took him to the outside entrance to Turles headquarters rather than inside of them. Ignoring the 'plothole' that was made, Goku focused as he prepared himself for the showdown.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Turles looked up at the fruit that mysteriously was back up in the tree. Either that or the tree produced more evil fruit due to the new 'energy' reserves it has. However, something was completely amiss as Turles saw how hazy the fruit looked.

'Hm,' Turles thought. 'Maybe I should…'

"Turles!" Goku yelled; interrupting the evil Saiya-jin's thoughts.

"Kakarot! You're still alive?" Turles said in a rather surprised, yet thrilled voice.

"I won't let you destroy this planet!" Goku said. He mentally added, 'Since it'll be threatened and possibly destroyed by someone not like you, loser!'

"Really?" Turles said.

"Yeah," Goku said.

"You know it's worthless to stop me," Turles smirked as Goku's hand flexed.

"Even so, I rather make one last stand," Goku growled. If he had a tail at that moment, it would have snapped in the air.

"Anyway, why do you dare oppose me?" Turles questioned. "This planet's dead. It has no energy left. The tree took it from your planet."

"True, but even your tree can give energy," Goku grinned. "And you know, we never did have these little speeches during the original part of the movie, so why in the hell are we even talking?"

"I have no id-" Turles started before Goku's hand charged up the 'Spirit Bomb' and his scouter exploded. "You tricked me! Die!"

Turles quickly charged up a blast as Goku sent the 'Spirit Bomb' hurling towards Turles. Upon contact, it hit all of the metal as electricity jolted up Turles's body. Goku was sent flying back and fell out of the tree towards the Earth below. The tree shattered and exploded in a golden light. From the golden light, all of the energy lost returned to the planet and its inhabitants as the roots were destroyed. Not only was this Earth restored, but the other Earths' in the other universes as well.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"…and so, the Tree of Might was destroyed," CMG said from the Check-In Station as she peered down upon Earth. "Good thing because I was starting to get worried."

"Next!" King Yemma called.

"Honestly though," Scrix said. "You were summoned there?"

"Yep!" CMG said as she smiled. "I didn't mind though since it's been awhile since I had a cameo in any fic.

"Next!" King Yemma called again.

"Even so, you're not permitted to use your full power when you're summoned to fight," Scrix chastised the young Saiya-jin female. "It's totally against the rules."

"Yeah, yeah," CMG moaned. "I know."

"I SAID NEXT YOU INGRATES!" King Yemma yelled at both Scrix and CMG as they both jumped in the air. "Seriously! Are you two done talking so I can send you back to where you belong?"

"You shouldn't have yelled at us," Scrix said in a timid voice. "You see…"

Scrix couldn't finish his explanation when CMG grabbed King Yemma by his neck tie and growled angrily at him; tail lashing furiously behind her as the golden power of a Super Saiya-jin 3 (also called Super Bitchin' 3 because of Scrix joking around with the young woman) flared up around the young female's body bulked up from the transformation.

__

"Listen well, Yemma," CMG spat; her voice echoing, _"as I was telling my minion…"_

"I'm not your minion," Scrix mumbled.

__

"…I was summoned upon that planet and if it wasn't for Goku managing to defeat Turles, we would have been all dead at this moment; including the readers of this fic!" CMG growled.

"Um… a little help?" King Yemma pleaded as Scrix rolled his eyes and did the only sure-proof way to protect the God of Sentencing Mortals. CMG was unconscious as Scrix placed the staff back on his back. "Thank you."

"Sure," Scrix said with a smile before flashing out with CMG in tow.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Well, everything strangely came back to life, so let's eat and not notice the plot hole," Goku chirped happily.

"I think we all owe it to Goku for bumping his head or otherwise, we wouldn't be here," Master Roshi chuckled. No one seemed to notice the evil look in the Saiya-jin's eyes as he leaned over and pulled out a notebook. 'Strange, Goku's a bit dark-skinned for some strange reason. And when did he get his tail back?'

'Note to self: Kill all humans,' 'Goku' wrote in the book before putting it away.

"Icarus' pretty brave!" Oolong said. Before the pig knew what was coming to him, he was roasted. "Ow!"

'Hm, maybe I should eat him…' 'Goku' said with an evil smirk on his face as he licked his lips.

"Goku, why are you looking at me like that?" Oolong said as the others seemed rather worried about him. "Goku!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Elsewhere, Piccolo was meditating as he groaned.

'Why do I have the feeling that Turles isn't gone?' Piccolo shuttered and noticed the Saiya-jin climbing out of the river. "Gah!"

"Piccolo!" the voice said. "It's me, Goku! Turles is still alive!"

"Dammit!" Piccolo cursed.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Get away!" Oolong attacked 'Goku' when suddenly, a Super Saiya-jin Goku appeared.

"Leave my friends alone, Turles," Goku growled.

"You'll regret the day you messed with me, Kakarot!" Turles vowed and ran away.

"Are you all alright?" Goku said as he rubbed his head.

"You better not do anything!" everyone else yelled at him.

"Well then, let's eat!" Goku said happily.

CMG: It's over! I couldn't resist making this chapter longer since I wanted to do a little one-shot for Turles after the Treed incident. Anyway, it'll be posted along with this chapter and the new fanfic that I promised a few weeks ago called **Fear's Revivification**. For now though, let's get onto reviews:

Kinoha: Thanks for the support. ::gives her a candy cane:: I really didn't like to cut out some of the story, but hey! I was trying to point out various plot holes! ::points to one hanging from a ceiling:: Like that one! ::shoots it with a chi blast:: Oops! Destroyed the roof. ::innocently whistles as she goes to the next review::

KaylaTheHedgehog: Thanks for reviewing. ::gives her a candy cane:: I'm glad you liked my little line and hoped that this chapter tickled a few more funny bones.

Xero Flux: Thanks. ::hands him a candy cane:: I'll check it out after this update. You have my deepest word as a fanfic writer.

Tea: Thanks. ::hands her a candy cane::

gokugirl9: There. Cliffy resolved. ::hands her a candy cane:: Come back again!

CMG: With my closing, check out the one-shot sequel to this fanfic called The Might Before Chrismas. Fear's Revivification will also come out today, so check it all out on my rare and triple fanfic update. Now where's my presents? ::looks to see nothing's there:: Dammit!


End file.
